This journey is not like any physical journey that I have had before. I am so at peace and at rest in this journey of health, that it is almost scary. It is scary that I continue to slim down, loose weight, build strength and literally change my life... one decision and one day at a time.
About a week ago I decided to try and do a push-up.
On your toes not KNEES push-up.
I have NEVER, not ONCE in my life, ever done a REAL PUSH-UP.
I wasn't able to do one, but I was on my toes... and I was in position... a place I have never really tried to go before because ...I KNEW I WOULD FAIL.
This time I wasn't concerned with failing...I was Dreaming of Success.
So the other night...I tried again and I felt stronger... but no push-up. So I did several "girl" push-ups and called it a night. I find that when I am not feeling very fit, I can get in a plank position and hold everything still and all of a sudden I feel like super woman. So..I did that and felt better. (it is more than physical folks..it's emotional and that is a huge part of this journey of change).
Last night I tried AGAIN... and this time I was able to Go down HALF WAY! What? I can ALMOST DO A PUSH-UP???
Then right now as I was writing this, I went over and tried again... two times.. half way down. I am getting there.
So, what am I learning from this lesson.
Life is about building strength to do the impossible.
I am not kidding that to me, Push-Ups have represented an impossibility in my life. Something that only other people did, but as I build strength and focus on the sucess and not the perceived failure, I am getting there.
I remember Bill Johnson talking about praying for healing and praying for his dad (whom I have gathered was an amazing man) and that although his dad did not get healed from cancer... Bill did not waiver. His belief in the Goodness and Faithfulness of God and the TRUTH of healing got stronger because he was pushing on this immovable boulder praying for his father's healing. The next time there was a smaller rock of cancer in the way... it moved when he pushed on it. Was that a coincidence? Is Bill Johsnson some spiritual giant with a special gift? No. While he is an amazing man... he simply has worked his muscles in the supernatural and therefore he has gotten stronger.
Can it be that simple?
Yes. I really believe it is.
Other areas of my life where this has played out are in my emotional and relational world. Things that once seemed far off... friendships and connections that didn't seem to be a reality for me because of my emotional nature (and attention to details.. lots of details)... are real and they are abundant for me.
I have gotten stronger in my identity, in my relationship with Jesus, in my understanding of myself and others and in my comunication skills. Just tonight I was triggered by a text I received and instead of "giving my friend a piece of my mind", I made a powerful decision and extended grace and love... and didn't need to tell my friend how I was feeling. It may seem small to you, but that is a victory, folks!
I am not kidding when I say that I am living everyday to the fullest and I am happier now than I have ever been and I am expectant for MORE.
I am expectant that soon I will be doing full push-ups... all the way down and all the way up. And things will get so easy for me that I will need to do all those crazy modifications to keep up the challenge. I believe this.
What in your life is like a push-up?
Seems impossible, but just takes practice to build strength...
Just like me... I believe you can build the strength you need to over come.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.